I've been thinking a lot about love.
More specifically, why is the definition of love so frustratingly broad. Everyone is qualified to talk about it, which in turn means nobody is really an expert.
How am I supposed to know when I love someone, or when somebody else might love me if I can't even grasp the basic concept and rules around it. Because as far as I can see, there are none.
They say all is fair in love and war.
Firstly, I would like to point out how tragic it is that we put love in the same category as war. Maybe, I've just never loved anyone properly, but I think war wins this one, sorry guys!
How am I supposed to love, when I loathe all the principles and cliches the most widely accepted version of love offers me...and the other person expects. I feel the urge to warn the other person as soon as I see then take that first step towards the cliff. I feel as though maybe I should just print the words below on a business card that I can give to potential lovers early on in the process of falling in love.
I will never need you.
I understand that sentence is a turn-off, sorry to shatter the illusion that I could ever love you in the way that you want me to.
Because I repeat, I will never need you. I will never depend so heavily on someone that my world collapses without them. Sadly for you, I've dangerously learned, that the sun always rises. I know how much I can suffer and still wake up the next morning and the next after that. Sadly for you, I know I can and will, survive.
This is usually the part where they pick another girl. Someone more dependent, fragile and altogether easier to love. But it's my blog, so let me argue my case.
I will never need you, but I might just might, want you. They say it's just not the same. But why would need ever take precedence over want? Surely, my love is only more valid because I don't need you.
I am happy to live out my existence alone. My adventures will not wait for you nor will my future or my happiness. I will travel the world and collect stories with or without somebody by my side, so surely the fact that I would allow you to adventure with me, is more of an honour than any silly little love story we could live out.
Personally, I would be bemused if the person I choose to love crumbles without my guidance. I'm not your mother, and you're not a child. Grow up. Go on your own adventures. Go places with yourself. Let yourself learn how to live alone.
And maybe just maybe, you'll find somebody who wants to go on similar adventures and like spending time with you just a little bit more than she likes spending time with herself.