I don’t think I’ve ever been very good at letting myself be ‘just happy’.
I’m not smart enough, don’t understand advanced algebra or basic geography. My stomach isn’t flat and I don’t have abs yet. My skin is acne prone, one eye is slightly bigger than the other and one of my teeth sticks out a little further than all the rest. I don’t speak French or Spanish, I don’t know how to sword fight or do krav maga and I can’t rap.
I don’t think knowing how to do any of these things would make me happy, but they would be something new to learn.
I’m addicted to that steep incline on the learning curve of life like a crack addict needs their next hit.
If I’m not pushing myself to learn something new, I feel restless. I know I have great potential, at least I know everyone I meet seems to think so. I don’t want to let anyone down, wasting that potential on ‘just happy’.
The idea of being ‘just happy’, has always been reserved for stupid people in my mind. People who are lazy and who don’t want to achieve greatness. But maybe I’ve been mixing it up all along.
Maybe it is possible for me to hug the curve and push myself everyday into every new challenge, but maybe it’s also okay for me to be ‘just happy’.
Maybe happy and the curve can co-exist.